I just saw a hot homeless man
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
