What a fucking waste of an outfit
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
