I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
high people should be assigned attendants
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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