please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
