its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
