My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't deserve a penis
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
