i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
