fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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