i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
