this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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