I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
