Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
