I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
