soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
