sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
