My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
