My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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