3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
