I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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