used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
