My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
