I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
