i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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