Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
