i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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