Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
