Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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