Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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