Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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