Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
