Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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