Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
