she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
