No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
