he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
