you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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