I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize