My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
