i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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