: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am available for nakedness
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