Pappa wants mamma naked
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
