it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is Oprah even human
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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