He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So apparently I’m into choking now
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