I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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