i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
