omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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