im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
