It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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