no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
