his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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