so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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