Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
