I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
